What is “his secret obsession”?
We talk about being “obsessed” a lot. Like when we’re obsessed with a certain TV show. When we can’t get enough of a favorite food. When we can’t put down a book. When we obsess over a desired goal.
Obsession has become a catch-all term for things that we really, really like.
But it’s really something more powerful than that. It’s the driving force that shapes our motivation. It can even shape your personal life story, like a narrative that’s built around a main goal or purpose in life.
Merriam-Webster defines obsession in a few ways:
- a “compelling motivation”
- “a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an idea or feeling”
And here are two definitions from Dictionary.com:
- “the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.”
- “the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.”
So, an obsession is a psychological condition. It’s more than something we want. It’s a state of being.
It can be either helpful or hurtful. It just depends on the nature of the obsession.
There are a number of historical accounts that show how becoming obsessed not only helps people accomplish important goals but also helps people feel good about life. An obsession gets you more involved in life. It makes you feel more alive. It makes you feel inspired.
In romantic relationships, an obsession can be incredibly powerful. Especially if it goes both ways.
After all, true love is an obsession. It’s a beautifully magnificent obsession. Because it motivates two people to pursue each other’s happiness as their highest goal.
You want a guy to obsess over you. Because if you dominate his thoughts, you’re well on your way to becoming indispensable to him. Why? Because our obsessions form the foundation of our life story and our motivation.
But men obsess about lots of things, not just love. And that can be a bit of a problem when you want to gain a man’s deep devotion and commitment.
But there is a solution to that problem. You want to become part of those other obsessions that already capture and hold his interest. So that when he thinks about those other things he wants, he’s also thinking about you.
In particular, you want to become part of the core motivations that drive him toward a feeling of “success.” You want to become his secret obsession. Because when you do, you become inextricably linked to his life and his goals.
The first step to become his secret obsession is to understand the things men tend to obsess over in general.