First of all, I want to reassure you – the end of your relationship or marriage itself isn’t necessarily going to have a negative effect on your children.
Your children may well recover from the breakup. However, their general well-being now and in the future does depend on your – and your ex’s – attitude, and your willingness and ability to compromise and solve problems.
Your decision to separate from your partner can even be of benefit to your children if your relationship is – or has been – peppered with endless rows, contempt and even abuse. Your children are more likely to have been affected by the conflict than they are by your separation and divorce.
Yes, I know that lots of studies have shown that divorce means dire outcomes for the children’s future. But what good does that do you in your situation right now? You’re likely to have gone way past the point that you can hang on for the sake of your kids.